One Thursday night I received a call from my friend, Kathy. She asked if I was interested in attending a workshop called Trust in Miracles. I decided to attend the workshop because of my friendship with Kathy. She had recently experienced a major loss. I wanted to spend time with her doing what she wanted to do.

We arrived at the workshop early Saturday morning. It was held in a large meeting room of a grand old Chicago hotel. We were greeted with fresh fruit, juice and water. While every one was getting settled, the speaker - Renée - made her way around the room greeting each of the 60 people gathered to hear her. When she spoke to Kathy, she asked if they had meet before. She seemed sure that she had either spoken with Kathy, or talked with her, or maybe read an information sheet sent to her by Kathy. When I introduced myself to Renée, she asked me who "Mary Ellen or Eleanor" was. Renée explained I was surrounded by an energy or presence and she was picking up the name Mary Ellen or Eleanor. At the time, I couldn't think of anyone I knew with that name.

Renée introduced us to Trust in Miracles and herself. She explained what we would try to accomplish during the day and asked for feedback from people who had attended her workshop the previous Saturday and Wednesday night. It was fascinating to listen to the intensity and depth of feeling that the people responding had regarding their experiences.

Afterward we took a brief break, then began the first session. We were lying on the floor with our pillows and blankets. As Renée spoke - asking her spiritual guides and angels as will as our guides and angels to join us - I received a mental image of a mass of dark clouds. I attempted to clear the clouds away in my mind with no results. I asked my spiritual guides and angels to clear away the clouds so that the light could shine. When we finished this session, I wasn't disappointed. Instead I had a feeling of anticipation. Renée announced that we would break for lunch and continue with another session in the afternoon.

During the afternoon session, I had the same mental image of dark clouds. As I listened to Renée's voice and asked for assistance from my guides and angels, I began to realize that thin rays of light were breaking through the clouds. The image became brighter and the light pushed away the clouds. I had a picture of myself sweeping away doubt and negative energy. I felt a vibration in the center of my chest - not unlike a quickly spinning top. I was quite warm, too.

After the session, Renée asked if anyone would like to discuss his or her experience. Several people walked up front and told of things that they had experienced during the session. Again Renée asked if there was anyone else who would like to talk of his or her experiences. Although I was profoundly affected by what had happened, I didn't feel comfortable sharing with the group. Once again Renée asked for volunteers to share with the group. I felt she was speaking to me. So I went up to the front of the room.

Renée hugged me and then, touched my back. The spinning in my chest - the heart chakra - increased. I felt my body temperature rise and my legs and arms were trembling. She asked me to share my experience, and after I did, she asked how I felt. I replied that I felt very open and vulnerable. Renée said that I accustomed to putting up barriers to protect myself, which was true - I don't feel comfortable sharing my inner thoughts and feeling with many people. I usually hold most people at arm's length. She then gave me a hug and said we would talk later.

At the end of the workshop a number of people were talking with Renée. I was standing behind her when she was speaking to my friend, Kathy. Kathy was telling Renée of the death of her father last year, and the death of her mother, three weeks ago. Renée asked Kathy if she knew Sally or Bruce. She explained that their presence was around Kathy, and that they wanted Kathy to know her mother was not present. Her mother was in transition, and she would be fine. Although the names were not familiar to Kathy, they were familiar to me. My paternal grandmother's name was Sally Blanche Gray and my maternal grandfather's name was James Bruce Moseley. After a conversation with my mother, I learned that my great-grandmother's name was Mary Eleanor Stone. Are these coincidences? I don't believe so.

Since the workshop, I have had many positive reactions to this experience. I have let go of an uncomfortable relationship, which had ended but had lingering feelings of responsibility. I have had numerous opportunities to be drawn into sticky situations with my husband, and instead I have let the opportunities pass with no regret. And the relationship with my younger child, who is experiencing difficulties in school, is much calmer and loving instead of frustrating and exasperating.

The day spent with Renée has had a positive affect on me, which continues to develop. I am mediating and journaling, which are practices I had resisted. I "never" had time to mediate, and didn't want to commit myself to paper -- the trust issue again. When I sat down to write about my experience with Renée the words flowed. I felt no hesitation or reluctance to share my experience or commit it to paper.

Thank you, Renée!

Gray